My partner is not aware of my debt problem a partner not being aware of a debt problem with a spouse or a lover is really not as uncommon as you may think

My partner is not aware of my debt problem

A partner not being aware of a debt problem with a spouse or a lover is really not as uncommon as you may think. For the older generation certainly, we find that many ladies come to us ashamed to tell their husbands that they have racked up debt. They have been brought up generally to only buy what they could afford. They were the post Second World War generation, who lived with ration books etc. They may well have been given a house keeping allowance to provide for the family on and were expected to manage.

Times changed and with it, the availability of credit to buy all those modern necessities which fill every home. Suddenly, one didn’t have to wait weeks or months for an item. It could be bought then and their on credit and paid off later.

We have had our fair share of married women come to us with debt levels in excess of ?50,000 on the verge of suicide. We tell them all they are not alone. Thousands like them seek advice every week.

The Halifax have published analysis which reckons that there are over 200,000 credit cards being used in the UK which a spouse is unaware exists. Now debt kept from a spouse is not necessarily a bad thing. We all need a little me time and money, and it is nice to be able to treat someone with something that we have bought from our own money.

Debt withheld from a partner can be an issue however, when that debt impinges on the money it then takes to service that debt each month and how that in turn affects the finances available to meet all other commitments. The danger here is that further credit is taken out to finance old credit. The net effect is that the problem just escalates, sometimes until it is too late.

It is always worth bearing in mind that if you think that your partner may have an issue with the level of debt your are carrying, then it may be that that debt level is too high.

You need to give consideration also to the question of jointly applied for credit. If you get to the stage, when you need to first or further apply for joint credit, your debt position will come into the open, and you need to be prepared for this. At Help With Debt we have helped people in just this situation.

Remember that debt in your name cannot be collected from another party unless they are jointly liable on the debt or have guaranteed it. However debt owed by you can be collected from or secured against your share of a jointly owned property, and this may have implications on how your partner is able to deal with their share of that property.

  1. If you have a debt issue that you feel you cannot discuss with your partner, we would be happy to talk to you about it. A problem shared could well be the start of a problem halved.
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