One of the hardest and trickiest things to do once trouble starts is to prevent going to divorce court, you are tired and irritated with all the arguments and the feelings of abandoned, misused and generally taken for granted

One of the hardest and trickiest things to do once trouble starts is to prevent going to divorce court, you are tired and irritated with all the arguments and the feelings of abandoned, misused and generally taken for granted. These problems usually lead to many overwhelming and desperate feelings that ultimately lead to divorce for many people. However, this does not have to be the way it is, there are some ways to fix your marriage and to prevent getting divorced. There is a solution that will work even in the worst of times during your marriage.

Many times you will find that the trouble starts and the confusion sets in, so much so that you literally want to throw in the towel on your marriage, you feel defeated and you stop even trying to care for your spouse. You spend more time angry and fearful than you spend feeling happy with your married life. All of this strife ends up becoming the marital distress that leads to divorce, instead of focusing on the reason you got married in the first place. You need to remember that you got married because you loved this person.

If you are still in love with your partner, you will need to count on that love and allow it to be the force that drives your marriage. You will need to show this to your spouse even if it seems they are no longer interested in the relationship. You will need to learn how to get rid of the hostility and to communicate your feelings effectively without getting mad at each other. Here are just a few tips to help you with these problems.

Get Rid of the Hostility
The most detrimental of all marriage problems is anger and the feelings of hostility you may have towards your spouse. You have probably come to the point where you spend so much time arguing and defending yourself that you have grown tired of this situation.  You have been fighting and neither of you ever want to back down because you are afraid that you will lose the upper hand, instead of trying to fix it you are too busy keeping score of who wins what argument. However, in order to actually fix the problem, you will have to give in and stop the arguments by trying to work things out and to be more understanding of each others feelings. Most importantly you will need to stop attacking your spouse or having them attacks you. Once you get rid of the hostility your marriage will become more peaceful and comfortable, and you will be able to have calm conversations.

Get to the Facts
Many times people are arguing and havent quite figured out what the actual problem is. You should spend time looking for the facts of the matter, are you arguing about money, about the disciplining of the children, about infidelity, or is it something else. Whatever the problem may be you will need to find out what that is so that you can find out what you need to do to fix it.

If you find the problem is because your wife always seems angry because she cant get you to help around the house or you spend too much time out on the street hanging out with your friends, then this will cause a problem, especially if the man thinks he does enough around the house and figures after a long week at the office he should have some time with his friends, then the argument gets even worse. However is the problem really about hanging with friends or doing chores? The problem may not be that the husband is not doing chores it may be that he is doing them too slowly, but he expects her to get them done quickly so she now expects the same. The problem may not be about hanging out with the friends; it may be that he is not spending any time with her or the children. In this situation the husband may feel like he is being suffocated and the woman may feel as though she is unloved. In this situation, in order to get the marriage back on track they will need to sit down and communicate about how each other feels and what they can do to fix the situation. The husband may agree to stop harassing the wife about her chore or getting his done faster, and putting aside a day or two for just her and the children, so that they can have some family bonding time. By addressing the issue they will find that the problem was not really a problem at all and will keep them from ending up in divorce court.

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